


Leadership

by BrokePerception



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 18:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3988087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokePerception/pseuds/BrokePerception
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Season Two. The Commander would never find if Clarke would have picked her when she was ready to be with someone again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leadership

She first saw Clarke's strength when she had the guts to kill the boy she loved, if only to make sure he wouldn't suffer when she knew that his death wasn't evitable anymore. The very first time she took someone's life, she had been six, and it had been her cousin's, for to end his hopeless fight had been the most merciful to do after he got attacked by a wild boar in the jungle. It had been the first time in her life she said the words rather than heard them, " _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ", but it definitely hadn't been the last. She had felt respect for her and her sacrifice when she saw Finn's head fall to the side lifelessly, and a similarity between Clarke and herself, like with Costia so long ago, yet not.

They grew up with the idea that a man, woman or child should receive the kindness of mercy when they lost their fight, preferably before they suffered. She knew that for the Sky People, it wasn't a given to go down that road. She knew they understood sacrifice in other ways, and she knew Clarke wouldn't accept that, for her as the Commander of the Twelve Clans, there wasn't another option but to take the deal. She wished she didn't care as much as she did.

Her people hadn't been strong enough to fight after the Mountain Men bled them and after having been caged for so long, regardless of their strength before. Meanwhile, Clarke had had one of her own inside, too, while she hadn't. To do right by her people ── most of which saw the Sky People as infiltrators ── the Commander had taken the deal and had chosen to rely on Clarke's intelligence, and her own belief in the blonde's perseverance. She knew she had ensured the end of the Alliance, with this deal, and that there would again be two camps, with she in one and Clarke Griffin in the other.

She planted her tall staff in the earth and made her way only further from Tondc, with Indra in charge for now, until the Commander returned. The Chief of Tondc had, at once, made to go with her when she mentioned she wouldn't be available for a little while, but Lexa had held up a hand and shaken her head in quiet rejection. "You're in charge, until I have returned," she had said. She hadn't even entered her own tent before she decided to leave their camp again. The Commander had watched as her people began to clean themselves and patch each other and themselves up for a long moment before her thoughts drifted off again to Clarke and her people. She wished she didn't care as much as she did.

Betrayal did not come to Lexa easily, even though she knew it had seemed otherwise ── especially to Clarke, the one she hated to betray most of all. Alone, miles from Tondc, she let her tears fall. She was proud to be the Commander of the Twelve Clans; she carried her title honorably. As such, however, all the hard decisions came down on her, and that was fine as long as she could shut off her emotions, but she couldn't always, no matter how much she wanted to do so.

To get their people back, to save as many of her people's lives, Lexa had had to take the deal, and she had had to betray the Alliance... had had to betray Clarke. To be in charge was a gift and curse in one, she felt. To do right by her people, as was expected of Lexa as the Commander of the Twelve Clans, she had to ignore her heart's desires.

She and Clarke could have ruled together in the Capital. They could have become more. However, with their alliance broken now, that was not going to happen. The Commander would never find if Clarke would have picked her when she was ready to be with someone again.


End file.
